WEEK 1 · A SHARED STUDY · PREPARED NOVEMBER 11, 2026
Following the Lord in Marriage
Focus: What Scripture says about a wife’s respect, submission, and support of her husband as they seek to follow the Lord—and the love, honor, and accountability required of her husband.
Suggested session: 40–50 minutes. Read the four core passages together, then choose one story. The remaining passages are a reference collection for the week.
Central thought
A wife’s faithful support and a husband’s sacrificial love belong within their shared allegiance to Christ. These passages address both spouses as people responsible to God.
This study uses the public-domain American Standard Version (1901), extracted from the eBible edition already in your library. Its older wording includes “subjection” and “ye.” Explanations, questions, and the prayer below are study material, not additional Scripture.
1. Begin with the whole instruction
Read Ephesians 5:21–33 aloud, alternating readers. Notice the instruction to one another in verse 21, the words to wives in verses 22–24, the extended instruction to husbands in verses 25–30, and the summary in verse 33.
The text calls the wife to submission and respect. It calls the husband to a love modeled on Christ’s self-giving, expressed through nourishing and cherishing his wife. Treating either responsibility as optional would leave out part of the passage.
Interpretation: Christians differ over how these commands shape decision-making. A complementarian reading understands a husband to have a distinct responsibility for loving leadership and a wife to offer willing support. An egalitarian reading understands the passage through mutual submission and shared authority. These are two influential approaches, not an exhaustive map of Christian traditions. See the CBMW Danvers Statement and CBE’s mission and values for those organizations’ own explanations.
Discuss: What would willing respect look like in our home? What would sacrificial love cost me personally? Which instruction addresses me before I apply an instruction to my spouse?
2. The direct passages about a wife’s conduct
Ephesians 5:21–33 · Respect and self-giving love
Read Ephesians 5:21–33. A wife is addressed in relation to her own husband, not men generally. The church-and-Christ comparison gives the passage its theological framework; the husband remains a human disciple accountable to Christ.
Application: A wife can support a good spiritual initiative with participation, encouragement, and honest counsel. A husband can initiate prayer or study, listen carefully, and put his wife’s good ahead of convenience or pride.
Colossians 3:12–19 · Conduct fitting in the Lord
Read Colossians 3:12–19. The instruction to wives in verse 18 stands beside the instruction to husbands in verse 19 and follows kindness, humility, patience, forgiveness, and love. The phrase about what is fitting in the Lord gives the instruction its Christian setting.
Discuss: How can we practice respect and gentleness when we disagree about a spiritual decision?
1 Peter 3:1–9 · Faithful influence and shared inheritance
Read 1 Peter 3:1–9. Peter includes wives whose husbands do not obey the word. Their faithful conduct can bear witness to those husbands; the wife’s faith is not dependent on her husband already believing. Sarah is presented as an example of respect, with hope directed toward God. Verse 7 requires husbands to understand and honor their wives as fellow heirs of life.
Discuss: How do our actions make faith credible at home? How can each of us help the other speak honestly without fear?
Titus 2:1–8 · Love, character, and good teaching
Read Titus 2:1–8. Older women are to teach what is good and encourage younger women in love, self-control, purity, care for the household, kindness, and submission to their own husbands. The surrounding passage also requires mature character from men.
Application: Identify one dependable habit that would strengthen love and faithfulness in your household. Read the whole section before turning one phrase into a rule for every modern household arrangement.
3. Stories to read in context
Sarah and Abraham · Traveling in faith and learning to listen
Beginning: God calls Abram, and Sarai travels with him. Middle: Their life includes waiting, uncertainty, and the promise of a son. Turning point: Genesis 21:12 tells Abraham to listen to Sarah in a specific dispute concerning Isaac and Ishmael.
Teaching: Peter uses Sarah as an example of respect. Genesis also shows that a faithful husband may need to listen to his wife. These stories do not make every choice either spouse makes exemplary. Genesis 21 concerns a painful conflict involving Hagar and Ishmael; it is not a general instruction to expel family members. For further context, read Genesis 12:10–20 and 21:14–21.
Priscilla and Aquila · Serving and teaching together
Beginning: A married couple works alongside Paul. Middle: They encounter Apollos, an eloquent teacher whose understanding needs further instruction. Result: Both take him aside and explain God’s way more accurately.
Teaching: This is a positive picture of shared service and a wife’s active contribution to another believer’s understanding. The narrative does not specify which spouse made the household’s final decisions.
Abigail and Nabal · Wise action in a dangerous conflict
Beginning: Nabal’s refusal provokes David. Middle: Abigail acts without first informing Nabal and appeals to David. Result: David accepts her counsel and abandons his intended bloodshed.
Teaching: The story commends Abigail’s discernment. Faithfulness can involve speaking and acting against a destructive course. This is a narrative example of wisdom, not a detailed rule for resolving every marital disagreement.
Ananias and Sapphira · Agreement is not always faithfulness
Read:Acts 5:1–11. Both spouses participate in deception, and Sapphira answers for her own part. The narrative distinguishes the voluntary gift from their lie. Teaching: Agreement between spouses does not make a dishonest action right; each has a responsibility to truth.
4. What does “following him in the Lord” mean in practice?
The following are proposed applications drawn from the readings, not quotations or a claim that every Christian tradition agrees on marital authority.
Support faithful action: encourage prayer, worship, generosity, truthfulness, and service; contribute your own gifts and insight.
Respect includes honest counsel: explain concerns clearly, listen fully, and test an idea against Scripture together.
Leadership takes the form of service: Jesus teaches his disciples to serve in Mark 10:42–45. Applying that principle to marriage calls a husband to humility and care.
Both remain answerable to God:Acts 5:27–29 concerns apostles facing a council. Applying its priority of obedience to God to marriage means a spouse’s request does not make wrongdoing right. The Danvers Statement also explicitly recognizes this limit.
Disagreement needs discernment: distinguish a clear command of Scripture from a personal preference or an uncertain interpretation. A claim of spiritual leadership does not by itself settle that distinction.
Opening, 3 minutes: each name one quality you appreciate in the other. Pray for understanding.
Read, 12 minutes: the four core passages. Mark separately the responsibilities given to wives, husbands, and everyone.
Explore, 10 minutes: choose one story and identify its beginning, conflict, and outcome.
Discuss, 15 minutes: use the questions below; let each person finish before responding.
Practice, 5 minutes: agree on one shared spiritual habit and one personal action each for the coming week.
Discussion questions
What do these passages ask of me personally?
What does respect look like to you? What makes you feel loved and heard?
Which instruction about wives stood out? Which instruction about husbands stood out?
How would we distinguish following the Lord from simply getting our own way?
What does our chosen story affirm, and what does it leave unspecified?
How can we handle a disagreement about Scripture while continuing to treat each other with care?
What spiritual practice can we freely agree to try this week?
This week’s practice
Choose a manageable time for prayer or reading together, such as ten minutes on three days. Each spouse names one personal commitment: an act of encouragement, attentive listening, service, or honesty. At the next conversation, share what helped and what needs adjustment.
Suggested closing prayer
Lord Jesus, help us hear your word with humility. Teach us to love, respect, and listen to each other. Give us courage to be truthful, wisdom to recognize what is good, and willingness to serve. Guide our decisions and help our marriage reflect your care. Amen.
For a modern translation and editorial notes, consult USCCB’s Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, 1 Peter 3, Titus 2, and 1 Samuel 25. Its editorial notes represent a Catholic reference source. The two interpretive organizations linked above represent their respective views.
These selections come from books shared across the major Christian biblical canons. This is a focused Week 1 study, not an exhaustive treatment of marriage or every tradition’s interpretation.